Friday, September 30, 2011

My irrational fears and why I miss my husband.

My son has this adorable little walker that he runs all over the house in.  He loves having the freedom and control to walk around and do as he pleases.  He'll roll over to a little table we have and open the drawers, he'll explore the handle of the vacuum, and of course--he chases our dogs.  He'll get going really fast and run into furniture and over your feet if you're in the way.  I cannot even count the number of times that my poor little toes have fallen victim to this walker. 

Today I was walking down the hallway back into our bedroom to finish getting ready.  As I heard the munchkin chasing after me--at a full sprint, I couldn't help but be freaked out.  Let me explain.  I have issues being chased and followed.  When I was a kid--tag wasn't a game I enjoyed much.  I cannot tell you why--it's just one of my idiosyncrasies.  Whenever I am chased or followed--I freak out.  My husband seems to think this is hilarious.  He'll add in the phrase, "I'm gonna get you" and hold out his hands like he's the tickle monster.  My immediate hysterics always result in oodles of laughter from him.  I, however, am not amused. 

Aaaaand we're back.

Today, I was actually a little freaked out because I was being chased.  By my 8 month old.  Who can't even walk.  I quickened my pace and as soon as I got into my bedroom, whipped around and talked myself out of the anxious feelings that were welling up.  As soon as the babe came around the corner, all I could think was about how ridiculous I felt for having such an irrational fear.

Why does this make me miss my husband?  He would love this story and we would laugh together about it.  Because he can appreciate all of the little weird things about me.  And because he knows me like no one else does. 

Seven years ago tomorrow, he and I met in college.  And now, his little boy is learning to tease mommy while daddy is away just like daddy would.  I'm thinking that once this kid is old enough to play pranks with him, my life is going to get a lot more interesting...

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Warning: No editing or filtering for this post.  Just transparency and honesty.

One of the things that I love about the military lifestyle is that it defines "seasons" in your life.  Time still moves quickly, but with each PCS (move), you are prompted to reflect upon your time at that particular duty station(at least I am).  It's so neat to have this "default slow down" in my life.  I love to think about who I was when I arrived, and how different I am when I leave.  It's amazing how much your life, your viewpoints, and your relationships can change within the course of a year.

Although we are not leaving our current duty station, we did receive orders to stay here for the next three years.  After living in three states, and four towns in the past four years, staying in one place for three seems a bit daunting.  We are currently in the process of buying a home here--which means we will move again--but this time, on our own without military help.

I can't help but feel so incredibly blessed about the past year.  I have an amazing, healthy baby boy who brightens my life everyday!  I am FINALLY starting to feel like I didn't JUST have a baby.  (I don't know about other women--but it's taken a long time for me to recover physically and hormonally)  We are in the process of buying a beautiful home to raise our precious little one.  But, one of the main reasons I feel so blessed and happy is because of my relationship with my husband.  Marriages have seasons.  There are challenging times that stretch you and your partner to be better.  There are wonderful times, that are just so easy--and you just work so well together.  Either way, a marriage is a living, breathing relationship that requires work daily.  For this duty station, I reflect upon my marriage and am realizing that we have had our tough days while here.  That we had to work at this thing called marriage--especially with taking care of a new baby.  But, for the most part, we were in a state of bliss.  We developed a rhythm here and I can honestly say that not only do I love my husband more today than the day I married him, but I can say that I am just so IN love with him.  He is such a wonderful man, provider, and friend. 

It is bittersweet though.  Because this next year, will be a challenging one.  He will be deployed for more than half of it.  I know that our relationship will pass this test.  I know we are committed.  I know I can handle the requirements of being a single parent at home and keeping the "home fires burning" while he is away.  And I am so thankful that we are in such a wonderful place to start this journey.  But, I am also sad--because I will miss him terribly.  I know that watching him leave, watching the distance between us grow, will be gut wrenching.  But, I also know that it's the life we have signed up for, and that this is what we are called to do. 

As I watch my friends and their husbands join the fleet around us, I see husbands leaving and returning.  And it has suddenly become all too real.  For so long, we've all had our men around--for training.  Sure, they would leave for a weekend here and there, but we've been blessed to have the deployments left for the future.  They have been locked away with words like, "One day" and "a long ways off."  Here we are...not a long ways off. 

As hard as it's going to be, I wouldn't trade it.  I wouldn't trade the friendships, the experiences, the beauty and intimacy that a military lifestyle builds in a marriage--having only each other to rely on, and I wouldn't trade the good parts of deployment (the return--a second honeymoon, the appreciation that comes with not taking your spouse for granted, and the pride that comes from the everyday tasks that you accomplish by yourself--consistently doing things that you didn't think you could do).

I am so thankful for this past year--for this time with my family before deployments begin.  And I know that this next year, although difficult, will provide opportunities to build rich, relationships with other wives and with my husband.  It's going to be a good year. 

Friday, September 16, 2011

Family Pictures--pilot style

I just wanted to share some fun pictures of our little family (minus our pups). My husband is an E2 Pilot for the Navy. One of the perks of being a pilot's wife is getting to take fun pictures, like these:

We were literally feet from the runway--the wings of the plane were almost over us!  And, my wonderful husband, was flying the plane.  Some day, the munchkin will be old enough to point and say, "Daddy" with that wonderful childlike innocence.  On this day, he just stared and enjoyed the breeze as his Daddy flew by.

Pretty cool. :)